It’s okay when I don’t know how the rain falls, when I don’t understand your sombre face. You like to look out of windows. I like to busy myself with words you won’t give me.

Pages of heaven with black & red ink reside in thrift stores. They don’t cost anything but a pained face. You brew various teas, wash the table, then the windows. You like to look out of windows.

You need to remember certain things like tying your laces, the age of your parents, & how to get back home when you disappear. It’s never for long, you tell me. I know, though that was never the problem, dear.

You gave names to our houseplants the other day, leaving tears intentionally in the soil as I watched. You saw me, with your eyes, through the windows.

“Salinity,” You whispered that word with the fate of unreason. “Salinity,” again you said it. This time with a smile: “Salinity, losing its savor. Salinity, clouding the windows”. I doubled over laughing, not really knowing why.

I envision you not as thin as you are now and much happier. You who likes to look out of windows. You who never asks what it is I’m reading.

Yesterday, pressing your hands into the dirt, I caught you saying something about holy men, that they need no baths.

Imagine a holy man bathing behind stained glass; smell the scent of cut lavender, through the crease, through the pain, of a window.

Later (i.e., now), we walk outside ‘mongst dull restaurants and vice. I pull my raincoat over your shoulders and your sad, lethal eyes. They darted. You looked. I missed what you saw.

I sighed. ‘What are we?’ You know, it’s difficult with you. I didn’t know I spoke, but you answered me, you answered me or the rain. “We are only studied through windows”. Beating, ‘gainst water, the windows.

I smile uneasily. There was a moment of silence, a lengthy moment, before you spoke again. Your eyes spoke defeat; yes, defeat which is only naked in its deception.

“We are those trampled underfoot by men. We are but those who stare.We are those lost to the rain, the carriers of blurred faces, the lovers of only sadness.”

Author: i_Candidus